Saturday, June 5, 2010

Still Haven't Found Him...

I’m single. I had a boyfriend and it didn’t work out between us. I gave him 8 (almost 9) years of my life. I won’t bore you with the details about why it didn’t work out. I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss him because I do. I expressed this thought to my sister a couple weeks ago and she quickly replied, “What do you miss? The arguments? The insults?”

This led me to really think about what I missed. I even took the time to make a list. I just thought I’d share it. Here’s what I miss…
1. When we’d watch TV and he’d grab my legs and put them across his lap.
2. Him putting his arms around me and kissing me on my forehead.
3. Corny jokes…I mean really corny jokes.
4. Stupid nicknames.
5. Private jokes.
6. Play wrestling where he’d let me win.
7. Splitting the housework.
8. Eating his incredibly lumpy grits.
9. Complaining about work to each other.
10.Not sleeping alone.

Granted these 10 things aren’t enough to build a solid relationship upon. But they do fight off loneliness. It’s understandable why women hold on to men who are sub-par. I’m not condoning that, just saying that I understand why it happens. The overwhelming majority of my friends are in relationships, engaged, or married. It seems that they love to complain about their men. It makes me wonder if they remember single life. You know, the lonely nights, soup for one, salad for one, your voice sounding like you just woke up at 3 in the afternoon (not because you just woke up but because you haven’t spoken all day!!) your life built around your TV schedule, and worse of all your bed feels like the biggest, coldest place in the world. Being single can be a great experience for awhile but it soon gets old. Especially being single while the biological clock begins to tick louder and louder. Before you know it you’re sharing your home with 8 cats, just trying to fill the hole in your heart.

The people who care about tell me to relax, my future husband is coming and I’ll finally be happy. But when I go to bed at night, I’m forced to face the reality that today is another day I didn’t find him. I’m sure he’s out there, but who knows how long it will be before I meet him? So I will continue to wait for my Prince, but until he gets here, don’t complain to me about yours.


  1. Ok, hit the nail on the head with those 10 reasons...its the little dinky things you remember.

  2. This is real life stuff that happens to real people and Christians. Which is why I can't understand the method so many churches use to help counsel singles. Many churches encourage the urgency to marry to avoid premarital relations, however we all know marriage/relationships are not built solely on relations....

    I don't know why I'm posting this comment it just came to mind that single Christians really do struggle with dating and being alone, it is real, I don't care how much God you have in you, it's hard. I do believe that it's okay to not want to be alone, afterall we are supposedly designed to desire a partner.

    As always, Love you Cheryl!

  3. Yes, Katisha you're right. It is real and the loneliness can be overwhelming. Pastors should focus on teaching how to get through the difficult times of being alone instead of the urgency to get married. Thanks for commenting Katisha, Love you too!

  4. Well I will say this...I would rather you have the 8 cats then to rush into a marriage with someone who will bring you down emotionally, hurt you physically, and not be the man you deserve to be with. I am unaware of Pastors pushing for people to rush into marriage, but if they are they need to stop. Marriage has to be between two people who are willing to fight to keep it moving forward. Pre-marital sex is tough for Christians, but as the young lady ahead of me said, "marriage/relationships are not built solely on relations." You keep on living and building your future, and maybe you won't find him. In fact he may just find you.